Still Looking For Coffee Cats, I Guess

Listen to the zen kitty.

Every once in a while, I check out what keywords people used and ended up here. I wrote about the results here -- basically, people look for coffee&cats and find me.

So, here's a new round of the keywords people used and got here, it's from the last month.

- coffee cat
- cat coffee (yeah, you can try it like that too)
- need more coffee (try making some?)
- cat with coffee
- coffee cats
- 10 matchstick triangles (probably because of The Bone Cathedral)
- blue and white animated bird (this one, perhaps?)
- how do you find me? (heh)
- ivana skrobonja (sorry to disappoint you, but that's not me; my name is Ivana and I translate and sometimes write for Goran Skrobonja, who's a writer, a translator and a publisher, so maybe that's what confused Google to lead you here)
- kitty doing zen (I agree, cats are totally zen)

The first results were from March, and these are from June; do you think I should be writing about other things, not just cats and coffee?

Oh, wait, I'm already doing that. Google Almighty doesn't seem to notice, though. Not that it troubles me; cats and coffee and zen are fine subjects, and if that's what I'm recognized for, nice.

And, since you're here, would you like some coffee? Take your pick:

Coffee?

Monday Fun: The Holy Sinner by Thomas Mann

*giggles*

One of the books I’ve recently read was The Holy Sinner by Thomas Mann. I kept giggling while reading it, or at least thinking of giggling.

Now, this is not a review. It’s more my impressions, and what made me giggle so much; there’s a bunch of spoilers too, so proceed at your own risk. Oh, and there’s religious matter, so if you’re easily offended, you might be offended by this too.

The story is told by a monk Clemens, in a somewhat old-fashioned way and in a sugary tone. He tells us of a brother and sister, twins, of noble birth, who loved each other very, very much. They loved each other so much that they were expecting a baby (so now you know how they loved each other). Realizing that they have a problem, they talked to their trusted advisor, who suggested that the brother went on a pilgrimage, while the sister would go to the advisor’s castle and have her baby there, in secrecy. Not knowing what else to do, they agreed.

The sister was oh so mourning being separated from her beloved brother (the sugary tone, remember?). She gave birth to a beautiful little boy, whom the advisor wrapped in expensive silk, placed him in a barrel, put lots of gold and a message on a plate in it, and left the barrel in the sea, to God’s mercy.

And so on, and so forth; the little boy grew up into a strong young man, Gregory, who helped a noble woman when her city was under siege, and married her, and had two daughters with her, only to discover he had married his own mother. And oh, they were so horrified, and so she went on to take care of cripples and such, while he went to become a hermit and to sit on a stone far away from the shore. Still the sugary tone.

And then some more things happened, and then Gregory became Pope Gregory.

And there’s the Children, don’t do this at home conclusion (don’t sin, things worked out for them in the end but they suffered a lot, don’t do it, kids).

Hilarious.

Now, I’m fully aware that there’s more to this book, that this is Thomas Mann trying to explore some really serious stuff like sin and evil and so on, but still, it’s hilarious, and if someone tells me Germans have no sense of humor, I’ll throw this book at him/her. Well, I won’t, because it’s my mother’s and I gave it back to her, but you know what I mean.

Have you read anything funny recently?

Cleaning Out Our TARDIS Closets

Sadly, we found no cats in our closets.

Have you ever noticed how a closet is bigger on the inside than on the outside, just like a TARDIS?
That is, if you're trying to clean it up; otherwise, there's never enough space in it.

SO and I have been cleaning some of our closets, and no, it's not a metaphor; we we're throwing out some old stuff we were not using anymore, so our closets would be neat and tidy again. Well, somewhat neat and tidy. We piled up stuff we were no longer using -- we piled it up everywhere on the floor where we could find some space for it. And that's when I've noticed it. I looked at all those things, some of them possibly older than me (although not older as a good wine goes old -- quite the opposite), and I wondered how could all that possibly fit into our closets, which were pretty small. There was only one explanation: each and every one of our closets was a TARDIS, minus the time travel ability (and minus the police box look, they only look like closets -- what can I say, obsolete models).

Or maybe they lead to Narnia, but Aslan had no use for old rags either?

Or is my imagination working overtime? Nah. No such thing, there's never too much imagination.

Have you ever noticed something similar about your closets, or something else unusual about either your closets or some other part of your home?

Something New

Would you like to buy this book?

I believe that new experiences are very important for us. They’re important for us as human beings who wish to keep growing as such, and they’re crucial for writers – if I don’t have my own personal experiences, what am I going to write about? My childhood? Of being bored and stagnant and empty? It’s something to write about too, but it can only get me so far until I’m left without anything to say and until everything I write starts looking as a fake and a lousy retelling.

How do you pick something new to do, some other area to explore? It’s up to you and to your interests, whether those interests are big or small or just something which will pass within a week. It can be learning a new language, exploring the woods close to your home, starting to take more pictures and playing with photography, looking for new recipes and trying them out... Anything, really.

What I did recently was to join a Serbian auction website. One part of it designed for auctions, and the other for selling and buying at fixed prices. I did it both as doing something new, and as a way to sell some stuff, books mostly (my own short story collection, plus a bunch of books I own but will not read again, nor will I give them as gifts – you know the kind, you buy them on a whim, read them, have no wish to read them again, and don’t know anyone who’d actually love to have them).

It was scary. Not much, but still. You see, I’m an introvert. I’m anti-social. It’s not that I hate people; I don’t. I just want them to stay away. And if I’m going to sell them stuff, well, I’ll have to communicate with them, to answer their questions, meet them in town and bring them books (if they’re from the same town as I am – that’s the simplest way). Scary.

So far, I didn’t have unpleasant experiences (well, it’s only been a week). The very first day I put up some books for sale at the fixed price part, I sold one. The guy who bought the book contacted me immediately. He didn’t live in my town, but it turned out that his dad did, so we agreed that I would meet with his dad and give him the book, and he’d give me the money. It all went without problems, his dad turned out to be a polite elderly gentleman used to meet with people who sold books to his son.

But still. A new experience, plus communicating with people. Scary.

The other book I sold went to another guy. The meeting with the elderly gentleman was still two days away (we agreed on the time which suited us both, and it wasn’t the same day), but with this other guy, it went faster, on the same day the book was marked as sold. In other words, it was the first time I did it, went to the place where we agreed to meet (a public place, of course), and I was a bit nervous. It’s not that I was scared of that particular guy, or of the possibility that he could be a lunatic with a machine gun – I checked him out on the auction site, and several people already stated that they sold him stuff and it all went just fine, so I had no reason to be afraid of him. It was that nervousness of doing something for the first time, and it was the darn communicating with people – and in person at that.

The guy – a young man, in his early twenties perhaps – showed up in a tow truck, the one they use to remove cars from the no-parking zones. I have no idea whether he was in the middle of the working hours, or was just finishing his shift and used the tow truck as his own vehicle, or what; we didn’t chat, it all went pretty quick, give the book, take the money, say bye.

We call those tow trucks ‘spiders’, so I was joking, later, that I sold a book to a Spider-Man.

So. Doing something new, making two sales, and I have stories to tell, of an elderly gentleman whose son lives in another town and loves buying books, and of a young man who came in a tow truck to pick up a book. Well, not exactly stories, but certainly nice details, at least.

Not to mention, while doing something new can be a bit scary, it’s also fun, and good. The little bit of money added to it doesn’t hurt, either.

When was the last time you did something new?

How Do You Find Me?

Coffee and cats, that's what people seem to like.

Just a quick one, since I'm supposed to work.

From time to time, I check out the stats of my blog, and also the keywords readers used to find me. The champions for this month are:

- coffee cat
- blue british kitty
- cat coffee
- broken computer kitty
- cat on coffee
- coffee kitty
- kitty and a camera
- kitty camera
- need coffee meme
- british cat computer

My conclusion? If I want this blog to be read, I should be writing more about cats and about coffee. I should also post more coffee/kitty related pictures.

How do people stumble upon your blogs, what keywords do they use?

I hope you all have a nice weekend!

An Excerpt From a Future WiP

I can't exactly call it a WiP, because it would indicate the book in progress, and I haven't started writing it yet. But this humorous piece can give you some taste of what my non-fiction book about cats is going to be like (although, not everything is going to be as funny). It appeared here first, and people seemed to enjoy the silly but true story of a cat refusing to catch a mouse. I might re-write it for the book, especially the end part, but all the fun stuff will stay. So, without further ado, here it is.

Oh, and you also get a chance to see what my writing looked like 9 years ago. Not too bad, I hope.

Catching a Mouse

Once upon a time, Kes was a big, strong cat who hunted everything that moved. He was able to catch a fly while it was flying; several times, we have found remains of a big, fat pigeon which served as his snack. People in Belgrade tend to feed pigeons so much that they become too fat to fly, or at least too fat to fly away in time. A heaven for cats!
However, with years Kes became lazy. He could move fast when he wanted to, but he preferred to sleep and be fed and petted. And of course, my mom and I loved to feed him and pet him. Still, I believe my mom thought he should catch a mouse if an opportunity arises; I also believe Kes didn't share her opinion.
One morning, when I came back home (my boyfriend and I were celebrating our fourth anniversary), mom was panicking. She told me a mouse appeared in our apartment last night, and she had barely slept because she was afraid it would climb her bed and bite her. I gave her a puzzled look.
"Mom, mice don't climb beds. And why would it bite you?" I said.
"I'm not afraid of mice," she said. "But if it bit me, I could get some disease. Kes didn't even notice it; I believe it's somewhere in your room," she added.
I shrugged. What's so scary about a cute furry little thing, anyway?
Kes was sleeping on my bed, as usual. I petted him and turned my computer on, to read some book I've downloaded.
Later, I went to the bathroom. Mom summoned me from it, clearly in panic.
"I've seen it again! It IS in your room! I put Kes so he could see it, and he ran and hid under your bed!"
I laughed. I couldn't help it. Just imagining Kes -- the biggest cat I've ever seen (black with little white fur on his lower belly, as if he was wearing panties, if you want a more clear image) running away from a tiny little mouse -- made me laugh. Of course, I knew he wasn't running away from the mouse. He was running away from my mom, because he felt like sleeping and didn't want to be bothered. At the age of twelve, he was a senior kitty citizen and was rarely in the mood to hunt.
I tried to explain to mom that such a tiny thing as a mouse couldn't possibly be a threat. Besides, if it spent entire night in my room, it was probably half-dead with hunger (I don't keep food on my floor) and fear. Mom reminded me that hungry mice chew on cables. Ouch. I also remembered that if it hid behind some big furniture piece and died of hunger, it would be extremely difficult to find and get rid of. Ouch again.
And Kes still refused to get out from under my bed. He decided to take a nap there. A very long nap, if necessary. Nice kitty.
Eventually, I had to catch the mouse myself (well, people do compare me to a cat, sometimes :) ). It wasn't difficult, really. It was in the middle of my room, confused, and all I had to do was to throw an old T-shirt on it. It was so scared it didn't even wriggle in my hands. I took it out of the house and set it free. It disappeared in the bushes. Cute furry little thing. I hoped it would survive.
My boyfriend's comment to this was: "I know you grew up with cats. It's all right to catch a mouse, we all do it sometimes. Just don't eat it."
Kes? Once it was all over, he went to the kitchen to get a snack. Then he got back to my bed and fell asleep. He seemed satisfied.
Several months ago, Kes disappeared. Sometimes he would disappear for a week, or even more, especially in February (or whenever there was female kitty company to please). But he had never disappeared for months, and knowing he was more than thirteen years old, there isn't much hope he's still somewhere, lost but alive. :( The only thing that comforts me is that he was a happy cat. He had a good life, and is probably chasing females somewhere in kitty heaven.

The Things I've Learned from CastleVille

For those of you who don't who've never heard of CastleVille, it's a game by Zynga, played on Facebook (or at least I play it on Facebook, on the account made solely for playing games, not the one you can see on my blog). It is a cute and a fun game, great for wasting time, with all the ups and downs of the Zynga games -- but that's not what I'm talking about now.

Computer games, including those on Facebook, which real gamers would never even acknowledge as real games, can occasionally teach you something. Such as, you get extra points if you hit pedestrians with the car you've stolen  (that would be GTA). Or some English words, for non-native speakers. Joking aside, some games are actually designed to teach children some stuff, however, CastleVille, as cute as it is, is not one of them.

Without further ado, here are things I've learned from CastleVille, and they're about animals such as pigs, cows, chicken and so on -- it's useful to know about them, isn't it?

Cows start out as baby cows. You feed them and they grow first into youths, and then into adult cows. They don't die if you don't feed them, they just don't grow in that case. Once they're adults, they produce bottles of milk and cow hides. They keep producing bottles of milk and cow hides as long as you feed them. A cow is in no way harmed when you get cow hide.

All animals start from babies, grow into youths when fed, and then into adults. Chicken start as baby chicken, and eventually grow into adult chicken. Adult chicken produce eggs and chicken meat. They keep producing both; chickens are in no way harmed when you get chicken meat, and keep producing more.

Sheep produce wool when adults. Getting wool doesn't harm sheep in any way. That's for a bit of sanity there.

Adult pigs produce meat. Getting meat... You already know. Adult minks produce mink oil. They don't mind it when you take mink oil, and are not harmed by it.

Geese and peacocks produce down-feathers (geese) and red and blue feathers (peacocks). Seeing how they produce very small amounts of those, it is plausible that the feathers simply fell off without harming the animals. So, another bit of sanity here.

No animals were harmed for the purpose of writing this post.

Oh, and I have nothing against Zynga or CastleVille, either. This was for fun only.

Christmas Fun

It happens: you see something, hear something, experience something, and then, there's this thing which is just not the same anymore.

It doesn't have to big, and it doesn't have to be serious. It can be a silly song by Lady Gaga, a song which makes you wonder just how drunk, stoned or whatever someone must be to think of it, and then to actually record it.

And now, whenever I think of Christmas, I can't help but think of that song too.

In case you haven't heard it yet, there it is -- I hope it will give you a laugh. Merry Christmas (I'm a bit early, I know)!

Friday Fun -- Snakes!

Holding a boa for the first time...

Snakes are adorable. Well, at least some of them. About two months ago, I had a chance to hold a snake for the very first time, and it was a great experience. You can see the snake -- it's a rainbow boa named Kali -- on the pictures. You can see me grinning like an idiot too. :) I was fascinated to find out that Kali needs to eat only once in two weeks, and could survive for an entire year without any food.

Kali is two, maybe two and a half years old, about a meter long, and pretty much used to people. She belongs to a friend, and the friend's six-year-old granddaughter simply adores Kali and loves holding her. Kali doesn't complain, either; as I said, she's used to people, and doesn't mind being held.

...and very much loving it.

For the end, there's some snake fun -- if you have kids, they might love this one.

FENTON!!!

When the Nyan cat first came out on YouTube, it was fun -- and it was even more fun as everything and everyone got "Nyaned". It seems a similar thing is happening now, only this time it's a dog, not a cat -- and a real live dog at that.

In case you haven't heard of it yet, the story behind it is this: a father and a son went to a park to film some red deer. The deer were not tame, but were used enough to humans in the park they wouldn't automatically run away either. Well, they wouldn't run away from humans, as you can see in the first few seconds of the video below -- but they would run away, and in a stampede, if there was a dog chasing them. The dog's name is Fenton, and the unfortunate fellow running after him and yelling is the proud owner. The father and son from the beginning of the story put the video they were making on YouTube, and the proud owner instantly became the "Fenton Jesus Christ Guy". And immediately after that, plenty of stuff got "Fentoned" -- if there's a stampede or a fuss, you can be certain Fenton is behind it, while the unfortunate owner yells after him.

The best two "Fentoned" videos I found were Jurassic Park and the subtitled Hitler scene (though only about the first half of the latter is really fun, after that they start overdoing it).

Enjoy!

Friday Fun

I'm sure it's pretty obvious I like cats; I enjoy silly fun too, so of course I enjoyed this:

Everybody loves Nyan Cat, right? People love it so much they put the music, or the idea, wherever they can, like here:

However, being the geek I am, other than the original, this is my favorite Nyan:

I hope you had some fun with these cats! Thanks for dropping by!

Enough Already!

I've seen my dentist 6 times in the previous 2 weeks. It was routine, changing the old fillings in my teeth, putting one new filling, and cleaning the tartar on the teeth. Cleaning the tartar was somewhat painful for my gums, the rest was unpleasant, nothing more than that.

Except that I'm tired of people repairing parts of my body. I'm not afraid of doctors or of dentists, I don't have a dentist trauma to share (I do have a tiresome experience, but not a trauma), I'm just tired of the whole thing.

Don't get me wrong, my dentist is nothing like this:

Or this:

She's nice, quick and efficient. But, as I said, I'm tired of people finding something to repair on my body -- and, while she was cleaning the teeth tartar, she discovered another teeth that needed a filling. I'll have to go again, on Wednesday.

I was so hoping that the previous Friday would be my last visit to her for a long long time. *sigh* And if I ever put my dentist experiences in a story, it would be something quite uneventful.

Of course, I do hope that my dentist experience stays that way.

Friday Laugh

Quite often, there are music videos I enjoy not because the music is great (although, the musicians are not tone-deaf), but because they make me laugh, for various reasons.

Here's one of them -- I guess it's pretty obvious from that one that I'm a geek.

Of course, there's always Weird Al when you need a laugh, and the next one is a wonderful play with stereotypes.

For the end, there's a really funny one, although one young woman complained it would give her nightmares, even though she almost fell from her chair laughing. Oh, and please, please don't eat or drink while watching the last one, I really don't want you to choke or to spill hot coffee all over yourselves.

I hope you had some fun here!

A Cosmetics Appreciation Post

The scent of the Godiva solid shampoo is simply amazing.

I don't use make-up. I rarely even think about cosmetics - about any kind of it. But sometimes, just sometimes, there are cosmetic thingies which are so adorable that they manage to grab my attention, and then refuse to let it go. One such thingy is Lush's Godiva solid shampoo.

I bought that one for the first time a few years ago. It's like a soap in your hand; you use it quite easily, as if washing your hair with a soap. It's easy to apply and easy to rinse; since it's both a shampoo and a conditioner, you don't need a conditioner later on, unless your hair gives you a lot of trouble without very special products. If you have to, you can wash your body with this solid shampoo too; in the times of need, it's also good for hand-washing small, delicate pieces of clothing.

All of it is very practical, but that's not what makes Godiva so special. It's the scent.

On the catalog, they say it's the scent of jasmine. And it is, but not just jasmine; and whatever it is, it's divine. I kid you not. It's wonderful while you wash you hair; afterward, the scent is so amazing you wish to run your fingers through your hair and smell them - do I sound like a pervert now?

I remember washing my hair with it a few years ago, and then going out. After a while, the rain started, a heavy rain. My hair got all wet - and then I felt the intense scent of Godiva. It was so wonderful that I wished I could keep my hair wet all the time. And since it was a silly idea, I kept hoping for the rain to fall in order for my hair to get wet again, which was even more silly. I'll have to put this amazing shampoo in a story sometime - you know, a heroine using it one way or another, just a routine thingy, nothing over the top.

Today I bought the Godiva solid shampoo again (that's what inspired me for this post), but not for me; I bought it for a friend whose birthday will be soon (you can see it on the picture above). She likes Lush products, and I hope she'll enjoy this one too.

Anyway, am I the only one getting silly ideas when it comes to cosmetics?

We Got to Install Microwave Ovens...

Yesterday evening, we got ourselves a microwave oven for the first time (where we live, many people prefer good old-fashioned stoves and ovens, and up until recently, microwave ovens were way overpriced and simply not worth it unless you really can't live without one). We spent the evening experimenting with it (my SO was preparing food - it turned out pretty good - and I was cleaning afterward), but today morning, my mind started to work in another direction: that of a writer.

The first thing I looked up in the microwave oven instructions was how to prepare coffee, and while I was preparing it, I thought of a story or a book character. The first thing she does when she gets up is  make a Nescafe in a microwave oven. It's like a gesture, like someone grabbing for cigarettes and a lighter as soon as they open their eyes in the morning; only after she had her coffee, her mind starts functioning. It's then that her day starts.

Except for that one thing, I don't know anything about her; but with that one thing, she seems so clear in my mind. I don't know whether I'm ever going to actually write about her; right now, while she does seem clear, I don't know her story yet. But this post isn't about her, not really. It isn't about microwave ovens, either.

This post is about a small thing which sparks a new character or a story idea or, sometimes, even a novel idea into life. It can start so small, and can end up pretty big - and if you're a writer, such a thing can happen anytime, with next to anything and everything.

So, what was the last small thing giving you an idea for a character, or a story, a scene, a plot, a book?

For the end, something not quite related: because of the line from the title of this post, this song keeps going on in my head.

That Darn Song

It happens to all of us: a song gets into your head and refuses to get out. The main thing about that song is that it's catchy; you don't have to like it - and if you happen to hate that particular song, it's even more annoying if it keeps pestering you.

But it's not always something you hate. Sometimes it's smart and very amusing and yes, catchy, like this one:

I don't mind that one being in my head all the time. On the contrary; it keeps amusing me.

However, sometimes it's somewhat amusing, but not so much that I'd want to listen to it over and over again, like this one (and keep in mind that I do like Weird Al):

Now, what do you do when a song refuses to get out of your head? As a writer, I tend to use writing when something - anything - refuses to get out of my head. And, a few years ago, I wrote a story about a song refusing to get out of a young woman's head - a song which turned out to be a sort of a parasite, seeking to mate and to make a new song.

The story was entertaining, even if I say so. :) And it was a great fun writing it. But it didn't help; the unwanted song (I no longer remember which one it was) was still in my head. The writing, it turned out, wasn't a cure for everything.

The only cure I found for a song refusing to leave my head is listening to another song, just as catchy, but more powerful, and a beautiful one. Like this:

I hope you enjoy the cure as much as I do!

Milton Who?

Who is this Milton you talk about? - photo by David Kessler

Today I went to the library to return the books I've read (all of them from the previous post, except for Kafka's The Castle), and to take some new ones; some of them I need for the translation I'm currently doing, Paradise Lost and Catullus are quoted there, and I have no wish to invent hot water if the translation of those works to Serbian already exists, and it does.

The librarian I encountered was the same one who wondered if I could read 6 books in 20 days and who loves romance novels and Twilight. Oh, and to whom I had to show where George R.R. Martin's books were on the shelf. But hey, I was looking for classics, librarians know about classics, right?

Wrong.

The first one I tried was Catullus. Poems by Catullus. She had no idea who Catullus was, I had to spell out the name to her so she could check it in the library computer. She doubted there was such an author in the library, and even when she found his name in the catalogue she was still not certain, but, since the numbers told her exactly where the book was, she was able to find it. Yay. I told her I was doing a translation and some Catullus was in it and that's why i needed this book. She looked at me, puzzled, and said: "But this is in Serbian!"

The next one I was looking for was Paradise Lost. I told her the title and the author, just in case, still somehow sure that, even if she had no idea who Catullus was, she would certainly know Milton. Come on, everybody knows Paradise Lost and Milton and that wonderful Satan he created!

Both the title and the author were unknown to her. She typed the title into the computer and came up with no results (it's a small library, it's possible for them not to have every classic). I don't guarantee she typed the title right, though. Then she asked me for the name of the author, to try that way. Milton, I said. John Milton. Still no recognition, but she checked it out. Nope, no Milton in this library.

So, I came back home with Poems by Catullus and three other books; I'd say those three were for pleasure while Catullus was for work, but hey, it's all pleasure. I also did a good deed and told the librarian where the books I returned (Hamsun, Loe, Svendsen, Petterson ) were supposed to stand. She commented on me reading so many Scandinavian authors - of course, she commented after I told her they were on the shelf right next to her desk, with Scandinavian authors.

Don't get me wrong, she really is a very nice lady, and she really does try to help, and her not knowing where the books stand in the library she works in isn't too much of an issue for me since I mostly find them by myself anyway, but, aren't people supposed to know a bit more about the jobs they're performing? Even if it's not some life-saving job, like a doctor?

Oh well, I got some of the books I needed, and the situation wasn't life-threatening by any means. Some similar experiences, anyone?